It has become apparent to me of late that the machines have begun phasing in their plans to take over the world.

“So what are they doing?” I hear you ask. No, they haven’t seized control of our banking systems. They have not organised a mass strike. Nor have they begun abducting pop acts like Britney Spears or Jessica Simpson (We can only hope this is phase 2).
No. What I have noticed over the last few days is that the delay before automatic doors open has been increased. Several doors that not so long ago allowed me to smoothly breeze through now cause me to halt in a jarring manner as they fail to open when expected.
I cannot see that this is anything other than a blatent attempt to impede the progress of humanity. You just wait, it won’t be long before escalators slow down and tie racks fail to bring your blue stripey one to the front.

Be warned!