About 10am this morning my manager-to-be phoned me.

*ring ring* - ”Hello”

“Hi Rob. Do you wear glasses?”

(note at this point we’ve been working in a company of only 35 people for over 3 years)

“I beg your pardon?”

“Do you wear glasses?”

“Yes”

“All the time?”

“Yes”

“Ok, thanks” - *click*

So 5 minutes later I call him back, he doesn’t answer so I leave a voicemail

“Hello, Rob here, Just ringing to check if your socks are labelled left/right. Let me know”

Another 5 minutes:

*ring ring* - ”Hi Rob, which of your hands is longest from the wrist to the top of your middle finger?”

“Umm, my right”

“Ok, thanks” – *click*

5 minutes passes, I call him:

“Hiya, can you touch your elbow with your tongue?”

“I’m not sure, but I’ll hazard a guess at no”

“Ok, thanks” – *click*

yet another 5 minutes.

“Hi Rob, can you put your left big toe in your mouth?”

“Yes” – *pause* – “but not if I’ve got my shoes on”

“Haahahahahahaahah……..” – *click*

I didn’t hear from him after that. I still have no clue what was going on.

 

You may recall a while ago, I put up a scan of a story I’d written about James Carrott when I was ickle. If you haven’t read it click here to do so.

Well my work colleagues saw it and demanded that I write the continuation. But I think I’ve lost some imagination as I’ve grown up, so here’s my idea:

Remember those adventure novels for kids that you read a page and at the bottom you make a decision that affects the story line? (e.g ‘to shoot the pussy cat turn to page 4, to shoot the puppy dog instead, turn to page 5).

I thought I’d write it like that!

“If you don’t have the imagination for a simple story, how will you come up with lots of optional stories?” I hear you ask.

Well, I won’t is the answer. The idea is that I’ll write one section here on my blog, have a poll at the end for which action to take, and let you lot choose what happens!

I’ll only write the path that gets the most votes, and therefore my imaginary gland will only need to exert inspired works in small sessions every now and then, which hopefully will be much more managable.

But I’m not going to embark on this project without assurance that enough people will actually bother to read it, so please use the poll below to indicate your interest, and when it says “100% said no”, I’ll know not to bother!

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

Please also add yourself to the mailing list below, and once I decide enough time has past I’ll either let you know that the idea has been scrapped, or that the first installment is ready. I won’t use your address for any other purpose!

…in my life begins on August 18th, because I will be starting a new job!!

I’ll be at the same employer but moving into the IT dept in a trainee role providing user & systems support.

All very exciting (to me).

Boxer (innocently): “Meow”

Me (angrily): “Arrrgh! You horrible cat! Why don’t you go get a job. Pay for your own food and your own things.
Then when you spend £850 on a sofa I’ll pee on it and see what you have to say about it!”

Boxer (Rebelliously): “Meow”