Today I was quite troubled by the subject line of an email I received, apparently inviting me to:
“Celebrate Valentine’s dat with the world’s most romantic Jew…”
Thankfully it turned out that the subject field was just not quite long enough. I extended it to reveal:
“…ellery”
I have to say I was relieved, although I’ll be forever wondering what an evening with that Jew may have been like…
I’ve decided I can’t wait till the following Tuesday to put them up, so your just gonna get them once I’ve taken them 
This week’s title is ‘Water’ and here is my submission:
Stu said this week that using old photos was not in the spirit of the challenge, which is bad as I had tons to choose from, but good as it meant I didn’t have to! Here are some I was considering before I knew they had to be new photos:
Stu has started setting a weekly photo challenge, which I’ve decided to try my best to take part in. Each Tuesday he’ll set a new task, and assuming I succeed in completing it each week, the following Tuesday I’ll post my resultant photo here. You can also see the whole gallery as it grows at flickr.com, or by subscribing to this feed.
He set the first task last Tuesday, which was to take a photo entitled ‘People At Work’
So I decided to kick off by doing a self portrait. Here it is:
Last night I took Sarah out on a date, a rare occurrence. It was very romantic, nothing would be too expensive for my lovely wife.
So I checked that I had the half price voucher for Pizza Express and my free tickets for the Funky B gig, and off we went.
We had a really nice meal at Pizza Express, and then the dessert menu was presented. I narrowed it down to a choice between Chocolate Glory or Chocolate Fudge Cake. The Chocolate Glory is ice cream, with chocolate fudge cake pieces in and chocolate sauce on top. So the only apparent differences are ice cream, and the fact that one is served in an ice cream glass.
I opted to save 15p and have the Fudge Cake.
“Would you like ice cream with that sir?”
Okay, so in fact the only difference is if you want it on a plate or in a glass.
A few minutes later, the waiter returns and informs me that sadly they are out of fudge cake, so I’d have to select something else.
“So I guess that means no Chocolate Glory either then…” I mutter to myself jokingly.
“I think we can do one of those for you sir” he replies.
So they cant give me chocolate fudge cake with ice cream, but they can give me ice cream with chocolate fudge cake!
After the meal we plodded along the road, avoiding the drunk argument on the other side of the road, to the gig venue. It was really great soul/funk music and we had a thoroughly good time. We probably spent too much time at the beginning trying to decide if the two blonde girls on the table next to us were twins, or in fact just two blonde girls. It turned out one of them was the singer in the band and we decided they probably were twins.
Bare with me on this rant…..I had a sudden urge today to go look at H2G2.com, a site I haven’t visited in about 4 years I think. I actually remembered my username and password and found that I’d actually written some articles in there! I don’t remember doing that. Anyway, it seems I used to be pretty good at writing funnies. Here’s one that I found:
How to change your date of birth
I was looking around H2G2.com when I came across the ‘Retrieve my details’ link. I looked down the list noting all my personal details including username, password, and birthday. Right next to birthday, there was a hyperlink labeled ‘How can I change this?’
I was stunned, has someone actually managed to develop the scientific means in order to go back in time and physically change your date of birth? Todays technology is an incredible thing!
By clicking on the link you are presented with the instruction on how to complete this amazing feat. Expecting a full page of scientific apparatus required for the job, and a long list of instructions on how to spend the rest of your life achieving the correct mix of chemicals, and constructing the appropriate equipment, I was very disappointed to find that they refused to hand over the information. Instead you are to email membership@bbc.co.uk with the subject line ‘change my date of birth’ and someone else will complete the operation on your behalf.
It would appear that there is some level of policing on this though, as you are also required to give them a reason for the change. A measure that I’m sure brings relief to a lot of parents out there.Of course I don’t blame them for keeping this procedure under wraps. After all, if I had the secret of how to do it I wouldn’t tell anyone either. It could be very lucrative to have this kind of knowledge, and in the wrong hands, could be quite dangerous. Imagine if school children got hold of it, they could amend thier birthday to allow themsleves to legally purchase alchohol or cigarretes, even get themselves a driving license!
The thing I can’t understand is that they don’t appear to be making any charge for this service. Is the person who discovered this procedure really silly enough to miss a business oppurtunity this big? Or perhaps there are more factors here than a small un-educated mind such as my own can grasp. Maybe they see it as a service to mankind, and therefore unethical to make a charge.I have decided to construct an email to the afore mentioned address to have my date of birth amended to 16th March 1979, as my car insurance is currently far too expensive.
